They call it an auctioneers paradise. A buyer AND a sellers market. You can find anything, usually for a lower price too. But what they don't tell you, is that EBAY gives you more then you bid for, its gives you quite the rush.
Recently I lost my EBAY virginity. As recently as I just won my first bid last night. And much like losing the real thing, the whole event - through the foreplay, the buildup, the climax and the pillowtalk - was quite the adventure. It was fast, slow, confusing, surprising... and unexpected. Something I had never experienced before.
10 days ago I was approached by quite the hot little number, A Calgary Flames Poker Set.
It was at that time that I knew she would be mine, oh yes, she would.... be mine. The courting lasted several days, we had our ups and downs, other men would enter into her life but were easily bowled over with my determination, this item would not be lost. There was confusion throughout this time, she had a reservation price - something I was not familiar with. I was a high bidder with a maximum that outbid automatically others bids. She would send me letters in which we talked about shipping and handling. I had to set up a Paypal account for protection, which was fine with me, I believe in being safe as well.
I had until 11:43pm last night (Wed. Feb.22) to seal the deal. All throughout the night she teased me, pressuring me to refresh the page and bid and bid again. The home run plate was wide open and for the last 10 mins of the auction, my heart raced. I needed to know if she had anyone else lined up, this was all going too smoothly. And then it happened, yes my friends the god of lo...EBAY must have been looking down on me that night, for I, yes I, won the bid. Exploding with cheer, sweat pouring down my face, out of breath and yet extremely satisfied. I accomplished what I set out to do. Until...
I noticed my love wasn't happy. Unfulfilled she was. As it was my first time I had no idea what went wrong. I just saw a big red X across her face, and a look that told me "you must have bid as high as the reservation price & be the highest bidder." Apparently, having the highest bid isn't the only thing that counts these days. Frantically, and in tears, I apologized for my inadequacies, my lack of knowledge in the EBAY world, and asked if there was anyway to get her back. She is yet to respond. So my friends this tale ends on hiatus as I wait for my response, if it will ever arrive. Be sure to take my sad tale to heart, and learn from this young mans mistakes. I had the auction of my heart, my long lost auction, and I let her slip out of my grasp.